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Dancing Bear Variety Hour, Ep. 7

Kid friendly raps, psychic frenemies, and an inaptly-placed Westboro Baptist Church promo make up this episode, alongside a special noir mystery installment of the USS Carpathia.

“As a space-going adventurer regularly described as both rugged and intrepid, I rarely have time for such frivolities as radio entertainment. Why listen to life when you can be living it, is my attitude! I can’t tell you who won the last Earth Idol, but I can tell you what it’s like to bed a Balkovaarian maiden under the purple moons, your hands still shaky from asteroid-field dogfights. But if you have to fritter way your time with popular entertainment, you might as well learn a little about the life you could be having. Go for it.”

– Commander Chaz Remmington, AstroBase Special Expeditionary Wing


Dancing Bear Variety Hour, Episode 7 Full Broadcast

Download the full episode, or scroll down for individual sketches!




Kid Hop!

Everyone’s favorite radio personality, Peter Carson, returns to the Dancing Bear Variety Hour to promote his latest project: a collection of hip hop hits rerecorded with kid-friendly lyrics. Order today to enjoy classics like “In Da Tub” and “Must Be My Mommy”! (Scott Ross)


Psychic Frenemies Network

Everyone wants to believe that there’s something beyond this material life we lead – and the idea of receiving guidance from whatever mystic forces might be out there fascinates us. But sometimes that guidance is a little…bitchy. (Scott Ross)


Westboro Baptist Church Promotional

Residents of Lawrence are all too familiar with the nearby presence of Westboro Baptist Church, famous for its acute hatred of… well basically everybody. But like Jesus probably once said, everyone deserves a second chance. So we decided to devote some airtime to helping WBC help improve their image! (Scott Ross)


USS Carpathia, Episode 4 – “Space Files of a Private Dick” or “When I’m Dead Perry Me Deep”

The ship’s computer has been sabotaged and mystery is afoot on board the Carpathia in this special noir-themed episode!

Act 1

After the computer mysteriously crashes James Perry, private dick, is on the case with a mission to find the culprit and save the Captain’s negotations with the Rhyssandrian Trader’s Guild. (Justin Wilson, Phil Garland, Scott Ross)

Act 2

Bruised but not beaten, Lieutenant Perry prepares to crack the mystery of the malfunctioning motherboard. Who will the culprit be – the slimy Dhe’Zeen? The shifty Ollie? The handsome and imposing Captain Derby? Find out in the thrilling finale! (Justin Wilson, Phil Garland, Scott Ross)


Written by Scott Ross. Tune into the Dancing Bear Variety Hour the third Thursday of every month at 7pm on KJHK 90.7fm.