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A better way to boogie

 Smooth friction is bringing sexy back

By Patrick Patterson

In the immortal words of the infrangible Mr. White (I speak of course of dear Barry), there’s “no better music… than love makin’ music”. This statement’s ineffability on the level of casual discoursed is matched only by its unjust entanglement with the views of sacreligious, modern views on the sacred art of romancin’. I am referring, of course, to the decline of the playa. It is my firm belief that the influence of the “quirky” on the delicate ecosystem of birds and bees, constantly a-twitter in our world is predatory and/or just plain awkward… either way, to the point of subterfuge. Sure, Michael Cera’s brief fling with the mustache in “Youth in Revolt” was enough to convince us that sweatbands and running shorts, coupled with the usual penchant for meekness and awkward mouse-dom, are flaws we could overlook… but what of the men and women, whose silky PJs and confident swagger form the image of the lust of legend? What of those whose record shelves are stocked with proper ammunition for a night filled spent in the warm embrace of that special someone, that Great White Buffalo? What of Anita? What of Marvin? Luther? Dear, sweet, sweet Barry White? What of those whose mustaches never left?

Yes, Slow Jamz, as a species have become endangered. In a world where spooning is the lot of those who would decline to keep in mind the standards set by the likes of legendary lovers and put the needle down on some Skrillex. Sound weird? I think so, too. It is the goal of shows like Smooth Friction to facilitate the conservation of tunes to spoon to, respecting the natural order, where Marvin Gaye is king and Tami is his queen, but respecting the evolution of that order to survive in the modern age, à la Mayer Hawthorne. To do justice to the image of an ideal evening’s rapture, spent tenderly preening one’s silk-clad lover, this work is necessary. After all, what is love?

“Is it not the sweetest flower? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress”- Leon Phelps, “The Ladies’ Man”

In the words of the magnificent Kanye: imma play dis Vandross, you gon’ take your pants off. And that’s the way it should be.

Smooth Friction airs every Wednesday from 10-12 p.m.